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Why Do You Race?
Earlier this year a client came to me with a difficult question. She
was having some challenges in her life outside of cycling, and it was
making it difficult for her to maintain her focus and motivation for another
season of racing. At the same time, her racing goals were important to
her and she did not want to give them up. The advice she sought had nothing
to do with how to train or what intervals to do because her problems were
existential, not physiological. So, she asked me, why do I race? What
is it that keeps me in the sport year after year? And what could she do
to keep that spark?
It's not an easy thing to explain. Much like when a partner asks you "why
do you love me?" You know the answer in your heart, but you might
not be able to verbalize or even conceptualize it. You just know. The
reasons you race can be similar. You love to do it, sure, but do you know
why?
Before you take steps to hire a coach, start a new training program, or
even go out riding on any given day, it's crucial to your success to know
why you do it. Much like my client, I had been faced with a crisis a few
years earlier. I had gotten married, been racing full-time for a decade
already and still hadn't turned pro, was sick of living hand-to-mouth,
and decided maybe it was time to get a job. Yet I found that without the
regularity and routine of training every day my life was unhappy in a
way that no pay check could ever fix. At the same time, I had no plans
to go back on the road and pursue racing at the highest level again. Getting
a pro contract had been my driving force all those years. So now I had
to ask myself why I was still racing, and what satisfaction I was getting
out of it.
What I realized I loved about racing my bike was simply the pursuit of
perfection. I don't have to hunt for my food or wander the earth looking
for berries, so that primal energy has to be expressed somehow. Playing
out the drama of life every weekend on the bike is an outlet for me for
that energy. It gives the fabric of my life some substance, makes it richer,
and allows me to play the game of trying to control the uncontrollable.
The lessons I learn on the bike are lessons I'm able to apply to the world
as a whole. I'm can express aggressive sides of my personality in the
races; sides of me that I want to keep separate from the way I treat people
in "real life." In a nutshell, racing keeps me sane. That doesn't
mean I don't feel a full range of emotions when I race, or get depressed
about how things are going on the bike. But that range of emotions is
part of what makes me feel alive.
Your reasons to race might different. Certainly, not everyone's able to
get the same satisfaction from racing, or to keep his or her aggression
on the bike. The scar of a fractured skull and brain surgery on the side
of my head is testament to that, and perhaps the result of someone who
no longer knew why they raced or got any satisfaction from it. Some might
use it as an escape from life, a time to meditate, or perhaps an opportunity
to simply be social. For others, it might just be a job. Whatever it is,
take some time to pin it down, perhaps even writing it out to read back
to yourself when you need some reminding. When you set up your specific
training and racing goals for the season alone or with your coach, keep
the reasons you race in the back of your mind, and let those reasons help
shape your plans. If you do, you'll race with a clearer vision and motivation,
and keep both your successes and your failures in more realistic perspective.
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