New Cycle-Smart Coach Janice C.
Janice offered to help me answer coaching e-mails tonight, since Monday is my busy day and I'm having a hard time focusing on work. Here's a response she drafted to one of my clients' logs:
Files look great. Awesome, even. I don't really have the time or psychic powers to really answer all or any of your questions, but I do have have a question of my own. What about girls? You're very concerned with succeeding in cycling and getting your degree, but I'M concerned you're just not getting laid enough with these habits.
My suggestion would be to take the summer courses, because girls wear less clothing in the summer, and race more during the winter, when they're wearing their Uggs and sweatpants all the time.
Best,
Adam F. Myerson
--
You're hired, honey!
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Comments
How do I invoice?
First off she should charge more, she's giving advice that will really help make him a happy cyclist. Maybe his racing suffers but trust me, if he listens to Coach J, he wont care.
Just please don't post the schematic of where the pwr meter goes, nobody wants to see his hub wired.
Get laid more? Geez, my coach just tells me to do more intervals. Maybe I need to refocus my training program. Maybe I need Janice as my coach!
Janice isn't just a cycling coach, she's a "life coach." And a good one at that.
One of my lasting memories of going to a USCF development camp in the early 90s (before deciding that I wanted to be "Big in Belgium" (i.e. a musician) more than i wanted to race in Belgium), was that hardly anyone there either a) had a girlfriend, or b) talked about girls. Also hardly anyone listened to good music, or read books that weren't written by Eddy B, but that's neither here nor there. People talked about bike fit, spinning (before it was trademarked), Oakley blades, etc, etc, but actually having a girlfriend kind of counted against you.
I on the other hand could completely derail my whole training plan because of a girl. Staying out until 4 am and getting up two hours later for a spring training series.
I guess all of this explains my path in life and also the fact that when I reactivated my racing license last year, I had to ask them to downgrade me to Cat 5.
Now older and settled into demesticity, my life still revolves around girls (in this case my wife and my five year old daughter). I still haven't gotten around to reading Eddy B's book . . .