Culture shock

Back in Portland, Maine today, after being gone since before New Year. After 3 months on the road and 2 days in the car, I'm not doing great today. Maine looks like this still:

That's the snow bank in front of Janice's apartment. At it's highest she said it was about equal to the fence. This season I seem to keep leaving places right when the weather breaks. Tucson at the end of February, Winston-Salem this week. Why wasn't I in Athens in March? Or back in Tucson?

This is the earliest I've been back in New England since Allison and I separated. Last year I didn't come home until after Speedweek in early May, and wasn't home home until after Philly week, in June. This year, I asked the team if I could skip the California trip for an extra month of training, and less time on the road. It's paying off, since I'm the fittest I've ever been at this time of year before, and I had the freedom to come home for a few weeks with Janice before heading back down for Twilight. I figured a month of local races in the Southeast in April wasn't any better than a month of local races in New England now that things have gotten going here, and I get to spend that time with Janice. But my stuff is piled in bags and boxes around her apartment, it's 45 and raining, and I feel like I just got jettisoned into open space, drifting, untethered. I feel like I'm letting my teammates down by not being in California with the good form I have. I have a million things to do, but what I need most is a day to convalesce after uprooting myself again.

On the way home, we stopped in DC to visit my future ex-wife and her boyfriend, and pick my cat, Birdie. Birdie's gonna be living in Portland with papa now. I think I'm just going to curl up in bed with her for the afternoon.

It's not all bad. The girls are cute at the cafe, there's beer waiting for me tonight at Novare Res, my girlfriend loves me like whoa, and I just need to take a deep breath and go ride my bike. 45 and raining regardless.